Some people are wired to chase approval at work. Others, aren't.
I’m social. I’m friendly. I genuinely like people. But I’ve always been pretty direct — and as my roles got bigger, I learned there’s a tightrope to walk:
How do you stay warm and real… while also being taken seriously, trusted, and followed?
Not “toning it down.” Not “hardening up.”
Just getting intentional about how you show up.
That’s why I loved my conversation with Dr. Alison Fragale about the concept of a Likeable Badass — someone who’s perceived as both:
- Warm (human, collaborative, caring)
- Assertive (capable, confident, gets it done)
It’s the person who can deliver the message and keep the relationship. Who can lead a room without performing, shrinking, or steamrolling.
The two traps I’ve watched smart women fall into
1) She’s “Too Nice”
They’re thoughtful, helpful, and well-liked… but they don’t consistently claim space. They soften their opinions, hesitate to disagree, or wait for permission.
Their capability is real — it just isn’t visible enough.
2) She’s such a bitch
They’re sharp, decisive, and effective… but the delivery is so cold or harsh coworkers genuinely dislike them. They get compliance, not trust.
The goal isn’t to become someone else. It’s to find the middle on purpose: warm AND capable — not an “either/or.”
Your Likeable Badass Challenge (this week)
Do a quick inventory on how you show up. What do you need to crank up more: warmth or competence?
Pick one signal you’ll turn up this week:
- Warmth signal: a genuine compliment, a thoughtful check-in, crediting someone publicly
- Competence signal: a crisp point of view, decisive language, bringing a solution not just a problem
You’re not changing who you are. You’re just being more intentional about what your audience can actually see.
Want to go deeper?
🎧Episode drops Thursday, January 22, 2026: Dr. Alison Fragale — psychologist and author of Likeable Badass
⚡Quick Lift drops the following week with the tight recap + tools
👉Listen here
👉Watch here
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Cheering for your warm-and-capable era. Keep me posted!
Talk soon,
Betsy
