Real talk for women in leadership—delivered every other Thursday. Short, story-driven notes on confidence, visibility, hard conversations, and building a career you actually want. Expect practical tools, honest takes, and the occasional “wait… I needed that” moment.
We need to talk about women tearing other women down
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I’m just going to say it. We spend a lot of time talking about the boys’ club, broken systems and all the ways men make it harder for women to succeed. And yes, all of that exists. But we are avoiding another huge part of the problem: women are tearing other women down at work. They are leaving women out of meetings. Withholding information. Spreading rumors. Questioning someone’s credibility behind her back. Smiling in her face while quietly trying to make sure she doesn’t get the opportunity, promotion or recognition. And somehow, we still act like we aren’t allowed to talk about it. Because it doesn’t fit the “women support women” message. Because we don’t want to give anyone another reason to criticize women. Or because we’re afraid we’ll be labeled difficult, dramatic or—my personal favorite—not a team player. But ignoring it isn’t helping women. It’s protecting bad behavior. Women do not need more inspirational posts telling us to fix each other’s crowns. We need to be honest about what is actually happening inside our workplaces—and what we’re doing to one another. Now, this doesn’t mean every disagreement is bullying. Women are allowed to be direct. We are allowed to challenge each other, give tough feedback and not be best friends. But there is a very real difference between conflict and behavior designed to isolate, undermine or damage another woman’s credibility. And when it happens quietly, it can make you question your own judgment for months. This week on Loud & Lifted, I’m talking with Dr. Vanessa Vershaw, author of The Sisterhood Paradox, about why women bully other women at work, what this behavior actually looks like and what you can do when you realize you are the target. It is uncomfortable. It may make a few people defensive. Good. We need to have this conversation. 🎧 Listen to the full episode with Vanessa: Stay Loud and Lifted, Betsy Lead louder. Grow stronger. Don’t do it alone. Want a group where women actually support women?That’s why I created Loud & Lifted Circles—small, monthly groups built for honest conversation, real support and women who genuinely want to see each other succeed. New Circles are forming in Harrisburg, Lancaster and York, Pennsylvania as well as virtual. Learn more. |
Loud & Lifted
Real talk for women in leadership—delivered every other Thursday. Short, story-driven notes on confidence, visibility, hard conversations, and building a career you actually want. Expect practical tools, honest takes, and the occasional “wait… I needed that” moment.
I have been thinking a lot about the word loud lately. Which is probably a good thing considering I named a podcast Loud & Lifted. But to be clear: I have never believed being loud means being the person who talks the most, interrupts everyone or pounds her fist on the table until people listen. That is not really the point. To me, I wanted to use the word loud in the title because being loud has always been about using your voice. Speaking up. Sharing what you think. Advocating for yourself...
Women aren’t simply leaving jobs. Many are reassessing how—and where—they want to work. More than 455,000 women exited the U.S. workforce during the first eight months of 2025, and 58% of those departures were voluntary. At the same time, women started 49% of new businesses in 2024—up from just 29% in 2019. Women may be leaving traditional corporate structures, but they aren’t necessarily leaving their ambition behind. They may simply be redirecting it. It’s no surprise we hear so much about...
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